Brenda and Jesse

A successful marriage is a give and take relationship, with each person doing as follows:

90% giving and 10% taking = 100% success

 

Here are ten questions to ask yourself when testing your ability to give and take.

 

(1) Are you willing to give silence when your spouse needs a little quiet time

(Proverbs 5:1-2)?

 

(2) Are you willing to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt (Proverbs 2:2)?

(3) Are you willing to take a rebuke or correction and let it rest unchallenged

(Proverbs 3: 11-12)?

 

(4) Are you willing to take on the extra chores during a time when you know your

spouse if feeling stressed, sick, or tired (Ecc. 4:9)?

 

(5) Are you willing to give positive words of encouragement (I Thes. 5:11)?

 

(6) Are you willing to give time to spend with your spouse – alone, without interruptions

(Eph. 5:25)?

 

(7) Are you willing to give your spouse the courtesy of “please” and

“Thank-you” (I Cor. 13:5)?

 

(8) Are you willing to take a “time-out” when a disagreement appears to be overheating

(James 1:19)?

 

(9) Are you willing to give a compliment (Col. 4:6)?

 

(10) Are you willing to take criticism?

(A) Be careful starting a sentence with “you never” or “you always” (Prov. 25:11).

(B) If you give more – the take becomes easier.

(C) If you must criticize, do it lovingly.

 

Listen, if you could not answer yes to all of these questions, please take heart. Marriage is a growing process, a “marathon,” not a “sprint.” As each of you grow in your willingness to give and take, you will grow closer together. “Be gentle and ready to forgive, never hold grudges (Col. 3:13 TLB).

 

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