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Leadership Words!

Leadership Words

Our words can get us into trouble or they can dissolve trouble. How well do you use your words in life as a leader? If you are not sure, just look at the relationships around you. Loving words can be like a warm breath on a lit candle that can easily extinguish a heart simmering with anger. “Please forgive me” can be just as powerful a collection of words as “I Love you with all my heart!”  In this article, we will consider the power of our words as it relates to us as Leaders of the WORD.

My father gave me great advice the day I got married. He said to me, “Son, when you and your wife get into an argument, watch your words. Once you say them, you cannot take them back.” Although I have not always practiced this seasoned piece of wisdom, I do understand the incredible importance of it. As a Leader, we have to stop and consider a few ways we can learn to weigh our words in our heart before they are spoken (or shot) out of our mouth?

In a time of drought, even the smallest bit of water can help a thirsty land. It can also help a drying heart. One of the first ways to weigh our words is to consider if they will be received as a cool glass of water or a mason jar of gas. Like the brittle grass during an absence of rain, is a heart that is hurting. The smallest spark can set it on fire. The words you choose will determine either a blessing or a blaze. Remember in meetings and gatherings, fires are good for roasting marshmallows, not each other.

Another way to weigh our words is to consider what your subordinates expect of you. If you are married, has your spouse ever said “I don’t need your solutions; I just need your sympathy”? Many of us are fixers and when it comes to talking with our spouses and those that work for (or with) us, less is often more. If you are not sure- ASK. This not only determines the content of your words, it also impacts the way you listen. You may even say something like, “How can I best assist you?” Try it next time- you might be surprised at the response.

I remember a poem by H.W. Longfellow that that said, “I shot an arrow into the air, it fell to earth, I knew not where; for, so swiftly it flew, the sight could not follow it in its flight.” A third way we weigh our words is to consider its target. Will the words be encouraging or confronting? Is the point of the words to affirm a good choice or to expose a bad one? Regardless of the arrow, the string that sends it flying should be that of love and respect. When we speak the truth in love (EPH. 4:15), we never have to worry about a stray arrow causing unnecessary injury.

Musician Tommy Shaw stated, “Timing is everything.” If that is true in music, it is also important in our words because all of life is relationships. Our next way to weigh our words comes not from the ticking of the clock as it is the cadence of the conversation. When you are about to say something to someone, especially when it is a heated discussion, ask yourself, “At this time, will he/she hear what I am about to say?” If you are unsure about the importance of timing, please consider the Prophet Nathan in 2 Samuel 12:1-13.

As we close, I want to provide one more way to weigh our words and that is at the foot of the cross. Only when our words are first baptized in the waters of worship to God will we be able to bring a proper sacrifice of speech to the Lord’s altar of healing. Words matter. The Apostle John wrote “In the beginning was the word (Logos), and the Word was with God and the word was God…and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us . . .” (John 1:1, 14). When we run our words through the Word, they will always come out with grace and not growl.

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The Command to “Love and Respect”

The Command to Love and Respect (Ephesians 5:33) “Nevertheless, let everyone of you in particular (speaking to husbands), so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence (respect) her husband.

(1) A husband is to obey the command to love, even if his wife does not obey the command to respect.

(2) A wife is to obey the command to respect, even if her husband does not obey the command to love.

(3) A husband is called to love a disrespectful wife.

(4) A wife is called to respect an unloving husband.

(5) There is no justification for a husband to say: “I will love my wife after she respects me; nor for a wife to say: I will respect my husband after he loves me.”

(6) When a husband feels disrespected, it’s very hard to love his wife.

(7) When a wife feels unloved, it is very hard to respect her husband.

(8) When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife.

(9) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband.

(10) It is very important to understand – When someone reacts toward you, respond to them.

a. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21).

b. Let us not be weary in well doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not (Galatians 6:9).

c. Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord (Ephesians 6:8)

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Seven Reasons Not to be a Champion

  1. I don’t want to buy your breakfast
  2. I have a whole congregation of close friends
  3. My church runs smoothly
  4. I don’t want to invest in anyone’s life 
  5. My family is fine 
  6. I don’t have problems 
  7. I don’t need accountability I have my spouse

So, tongue and check out of the way, I love meeting with my table mates every week!  I am human and have real needs, not just as a woman but as a pastor’s wife that takes hits from all sides that could use a friend that truly understands things from every side.  So yeah, some weeks when money is tight I might need to buy her breakfast.  My table mates have become a place where my marriage and family have been prayed over with earnest, sweet blessings and in confidentiality. It’s wonderful to see the fruits!  I love having a place to run and share.  Ultimately, I’m not the champion, my table mates are my champions!  That’s what being a part of a table is about.  I could have gone on and on, listed a scripture for every point!    What is holding you back?     Become a Champion! Be someone’s Champion!

 

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A Regret-Free Marriage

“Everyone has experienced regrets at sometime in his or her life. Sadly enough, they seem to be part of

the cold realization that we all do things we wish we hadn’t done or fail to do the things we should

have. Nonetheless, if we allow regrets to keep our focal point on the past, we are setting ourselves up

for trouble. Someone once said that living with your focus on regrets is like trying to drive a car while

looking in the rear-view mirror; there’s no doubt about it—you’re going to crash.”

One question asked many husbands and wives was to “share some of the regrets they harbored.” Later,

those surveyed indicated that “these feelings have affected their personal lives, and, in some instances,

have had a derogatory impact on their marriages.”

Here’s just a partial list of what some of the husbands and wives said. Please read them carefully—

we’re hoping that we’ll learn from them so we won’t continue to make the same mistakes and

eventually live with the same regrets:

THE WIVES SAID 2

:

• I wish my husband and I wouldn’t have argued in front of the children.

• I’m afraid we got married too soon. We were counseled to wait, but we didn’t.

• I regret not making “our relationship” more of a priority over the children. Now that the kids are

older, I feel like my husband and I don’t really know each other.

• I wish we hadn’t lived together before we got married.

• I would have asked Jesus into my life sooner. I regret the wasted years.

• We should have changed the way we conducted our financial situation. We’re so far in debt, I

don’t think we’ll ever be financially secure.

• I wish my husband and I would have prayed together. Whenever we’d hear someone preach

about having prayer time as a couple, we’d talk about it but never follow through. I feel like

something is missing between us as a result.

• I regret never really enjoying my children. I wanted them to grow up quickly. They kept me

from doing things I wanted to do, got in my way, and drove me crazy. Looking back, I feel

foolish for being so short sighted. I wish I could do some of it over.

1 Anderson, Roger & Ponceti, Anthony – Love is a God Designed Hunger © 2011

2 Hot Topics for Couples: What Husbands and Wives Aren’t Telling Each Other By Steve & Annie Chapman

All Pro Pastors A Regret-Free Marriage Page 1 of 3

The Husbands Said:

• I regret raising our children in a spiritually unfit environment.

• I regret buying a house that was too large for our income. The financial stress is suffocating me.

I feel the pressure all of the time.

• If I could change anything, I would have been a nicer person to live with. I regret being so harsh

and mean to my wife and kids.

• I regret hitting my wife.

• I wish I had not had an affair and betrayed my wife.

• I regret straying from the church.

• It makes me sad when I think about how much my wife and I have drifted apart.

We can conclude that husbands and wives aren’t telling each other about the pain from their past. What

they can’t say is:

“I love you and want to show you how I feel. However, there’s a part of me that can’t reach out to you

because I’m holding on to merciless regrets. My emotional paralysis has nothing to do with what

you’ve done. I’m the one who must deal with the pain from my past. As you pray for me and support my

pursuit of God, I’m confident I will find peace.”

Scanning the list we realize:

That all of their regrets could be resolved using three remedies:

1. Avoid the Avoidable

2. Change the Unacceptable

3. Forgive the Unchangeable

Avoid the Avoidable:

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with

the same person. 3

The first remedy is to admit that many of the regrets were actually avoidable. In most cases, the

regretful things that were done by the men and women who responded to these questionnaires were a

product of yielding to temptation. For that reason, the individuals were wearing the “handcuffs” of

guilt.

For example, many of the couples voiced sincere remorse for a variety of ‘sexual indiscretions’ (the

politically correct jargon for the word sin). Some had guilt feelings about living together outside the

bonds of marriage. Others regretted their unfaithfulness toward their spouse. Obviously, all of these

failures could have been sidestepped by better choices.

Yet the sins were committed and the feelings of shame the people feel are very real and debilitating to

their marriages. But as devastating as these downfalls may be, there is hope for all spouses who feel

‘cuffed’ by condemnation. As grievous and horrible as our sins may be, they’re no match for the

boundless love and grace of God, through Christ.”

3 https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/248519.Mignon_McLaughlin

All Pro Pastors A Regret-Free Marriage Page 2 of 3

We feel it’s important to remind us all of what God’s word says about His willingness to forgive us:

• 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse

us from all unrighteousness.”

• Psalm 32: 5, “I said ‘I will confess my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.’ I said, ‘I

will confess my transgressions to the Lord’—and you forgave the guilt of my sin.”

These are just two of hundreds of verses in God’s word that speak to His willingness to forgive us. So,

if you’re struggling with guilt and can’t forgive yourself, turn to the Bible and begin a word study on

forgiveness.

Change the Unacceptable:

A perfect marriage is one in which “I’m sorry” is said just often enough. 4

Take a few minutes to look over once again the regrets revealed by the husbands and wives. As you

reread them, make a mental note of how many regrets fall under the category of ‘changeable’.

They make an excellent point. Just because you were bad at handling finances doesn’t mean you have

to stay that way. That can change. If you’ve drifted apart that doesn’t mean it has to be that way today.

You can rebuild the relationship.

Forgive the Unchangeable:

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. ~Ruth Bell Graham

While changing the unacceptable may be achievable in most cases, to forgive the unchangeable is a

goal that may require more strength than a person feels they possess. Yet it can be done. Because the

events or issues that cannot be altered are often the regrets that seem to do the most damage to a

relationship, it is worth the effort to gain resolution. And sometimes, accepting the unchangeable means

accepting God’s forgiveness.

Matthew 6:9-15 Matt 6:9-15 (ASV)

9 After this manner therefore pray ye. Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so on earth. 11 Give us this day our daily

bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And bring us not

into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. 14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your

heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will

your Father forgive your trespasses.

If any of you find yourselves stuck in a place of not being able to forgive yourself or your spouse or

don’t feel anything can “change” for the positive, I recommend you seek the counsel of a neutral third

party. It can be a pastor or Christian counselor, or maybe just another couple whom you both trust and

feel they have the understanding and compassion to help you through a difficult place in your marriage.

The key here is to not let any issue or problem in your marriage just “sit there” like the proverbial

elephant in the living room—everyone knows it’s there and making a mess, but nobody does anything

to get rid of it.

We pray you’ll start today to un-harbor the regrets of your past leaning upon Christ as your guide. Do

this as a love gift to the Lord and also to each other. In doing this your marriage will bring honor to

God in every way. And as you apply yourself to this huge task, we are “confident of this, that He who

began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).

4 https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/248519.Mignon_McLaughlin

All Pro Pastors A Regret-Free Marriage

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Heart to Heart from a Fellow Pastor

I am honored to be writing an article as a Pastor for Pastors to encourage and inspire.  I have been a full-time Pastor going on fourteen years and one of the best things that has ever happened to me was when I joined a “Champion’s Table” through the ministry of All Pro Pastors.  Paul Pickern really encouraged me to join a Champion’s Table as I attended the All Pro Pastors’ events but I kept putting it off.  Paul never gave up on me and even personally called me in regard to joining a Table.

When I really started to consider it, and pray, I felt inspired by the Holy Spirit to follow through with joining a Champion’s Table. Paul set everything up for me to introduce myself to the table and I’ll never forget that it was at McDonald’s in Valrico.  After that initial meeting, I was then accepted at the table and it has been truly life changing ever since.  It takes time to get to know one another and at this time we really do know each other.

One of the challenges that all pastors face is accountability and friendships outside the church. When I Joined the Champion’s Table, I was blessed to be able to have accountability and friendships.  Being a Pastor can truly be a lonely place where you cannot relate to a lot of people because of your position. Pastors are not perfect and there’s a lot of pressure when people put you on a pedestal.  When I come to the Table each week, I get to vent and truly pour out my heart with whatever is pressing me.  Being at the table allows me to be a better listener and not being the one who does all the talking.  I find it interesting that Yeshua had His last supper at a table with His disciples in Jerusalem before He was crucified and I get to meet my friends every week at a table.  I look forward to the Marriage Supper of the Lamb when we can all sit at the same table with Yeshua our Messiah.

 

Pastor Nick

Beit Tehila Congregation

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Blind Side

 

In a study I read in relations to a personality profile test, that there are 4 aspect of a person’s life. Most in which only the first one gets revealed in the test. Nevertheless, in my humble opinion, I believe that small group relationships can actually touch all 4 of these aspects. Most people tend to grow more wholesome in a small group of close friends.

(Proverbs 18:24 ISV)  A man with many friends can still be ruined, but a true friend sticks closer than a brother.

There are friends, then there are friends that are close. Also in these four aspects of a person’s life I can see 3 core basic needs that man needs that is desired to be meant. I believe God put them inside of us causing us to search for Him. They are LOVE, SIGNIFCANCE and SECURITY.

By defining 4 aspects of our live, I hope to show how we need each other – and how seriously considering joining a Champion’s Table can be a benefit to some pastors who need close friends.

First there is the arena persona. It’s the public you. It’s the part of you that you know and others know. When we first meet all you see is the “arena” me – But there is more because we have that…“I need people who really know me. Who knows what going on inside”. All of us have a part inside of us no one else can see. We need someone that knows us.

We all have a need to feel a sense worth. We have a need for significance.

Next is the mask – It’s the aspect of “What you know about you and others don’t know”.

(1 Corinthians 2:11) “For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit within him?”

We all have stuff no one else knows about except God. You are not safe if you are the only human being that knows about that thing. Adam walked with God and God said “It is not good for man to be alone” (Gen. 2:28). The enemy wants you isolated in your issues so he has a better chance in causing you to be defeat through it.

Here is another reason why we need someone else who knows what’s behind the mask. God forgives our sins, specifically in this case, those that may have caused physical sickness. Nevertheless, the prayer of a righteous man, a spiritually passionate for God kind of man, has great power. His prayers have the power to heal the condition that sin leaves us in.

James 5:16 MKJV Confess faults to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous one avails much.

Like verse 17 of James 5 signifies, that man can have his own issues, but still zealous, passionate and true to the things of God. That only means that you need each other.  It is good having friends whose prayers are available in the sight of God. This is friends who know the truth about what to prayer, because God only works in truth.

You don’t have to particularly go to an All Pro Pastor’s Champion Table, but you better have someone who knows what’s behind the mask. The Champion’s Table is a place that you can find those kinds of friends. I’m not saying the first week at a Champion’s Table the mask is going to come off. But hopefully after several weeks you feel safe enough to reveal what behind it.

We wear masks to protect ourselves, or to hide some undesirable truth. But God intent is that we protect each other. We need people who will protect us, because we have a need for security.

(2 Corinthians 4:2 MKJV)  But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness, nor adulterating the Word of God, but by the revelation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.

In layman’s terms “We refuse to wear masks and play games.… rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open…”Your life will be better and you will be free from the control any habitual thing/sin.

“You know that thing that you don’t want to do but you do it anyway. Yeah, that thing”. (Rom 7:15-18)“You say that Jesus’ job – Nope – He will forgive you. If you confess your sins to God He will forgive you, but He will not be the one who makes sure you don’t do it again. He will only forgive you for it because He has already given you the grace not to do it.

(I John 1:9)   If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

(James 5:15)  And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he who have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.

(James 5:16) “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

People’s prayer cannot forgive your sins but can get you to healed and delivered from the condition of your situation. I personally believe it’s because of accountability. Lack of accountability (revealing what’s behind the mask) is the number one reason pastors fall and men fail as husbands and fathers.  

A Champion’s table of men also is a hedge or guard to help protect us from our vulnerabilities and that thing that you struggled with and no longer do. Apostle, Arch Bishop, Bishop, Pastor we all are vulnerable so we have a need for security, which brings us to the next aspect of our lives.   

Blind spots – Blind spots is when “you don’t know or see it but other know and see it of you”.  It’s like having spinach in the teeth, or your fly is open and you are putting on your arena persona.  

Once I yelled out to my wife from across the house that I was running out to the grocery store. So I put on this really nice golf shirt I had been wanting to wear. I strutted through the store greeting and smiling back at people while styling my new shirt. I went on through the checkout line, only to get home and my wife telling me that my shirt was on inside out.

Who protects your blind side? Who do you have around you that loves you enough to be honest with you? We need people who will be honest with us.  

We have that need for love and protection.

Your Greatest Vulnerability?

Have you ever seen The Blind Side?  It’s the story of  Michael Oher, and how he came up from high school, through college then to play in the NFL. The position he plays is left offensive tackle. One the highest paid positions and highly valued positions in the NFL. Left tackles in the NFL are called silent millionaires because they are sometimes the highest paid position after the QB. Why is the left tackle so critically important? It’s because he protects the quarterback’s blind side.

Most quarterbacks are right handed, so when they drop back to pass, they can’t see pass rushers coming from their left sides. That is why it’s called the blind side.

In 1985, Monday Night Football, it was quarterback Joe Theismann of the Washington Redskin verses the NY Giants and Linebacker Lawrence Taylor.

Lawrence Taylor beat the Skins left offensive tackle, broke free and snapped Theismann’s leg like a breadstick, ending the quarterback’s career.

As a quarterback, you need a world-class left tackle covering your blind side, your greatest vulnerability. As husband, as a father, or pastor, you need a world class friend to protect your blind side. If you get blindsided too much, you not only lose the game, you might lose your career. Just like a professional quarterback, as a husband, father, and pastor, you are crucial and incredibly valuable to the team. You are valuable to your family, your church, the Body of Christ and to God, and just as important, to yourself. 

Like a quarterback, you have a blind side that must be protected at all costs. So, who or what protects your blind side? Your left tackle could be a trusted friend, who keeps you informed, covers you and stands with you when things gets tough. OF course you can also serve as someone else’s left tackle when that person is distressed. Whatever or whoever you choose to be your left tackle, you need one.

When your blind side is protected, you have a foundation to stand upon. You have the love, significances and security necessary to take risks to be the champion that God made you to be.

We have to earn the right to say certain things to people. That’s really only to those who I believe really love me. If I think that you really care, I’m going to listen to you.

(Proverbs 27:6 NKJV) “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

We all need someone who has our back…to stop us from going over the edge.

Potential – it’s the aspect of “I don’t know and you don’t know”.  

Who knows? God knows! The potential He knows that we have is always far greater that what we could ever imagine or think.

So what could that have to do with Champion’s tables? God has devised a plan for us to find our potential through us getting together with other believers.

(Proverbs 27:17 ISV)  Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens a friend’s character.

You will never realize you full potential alone…not ever. You will always hit a ceiling that’s never close to your potential. It’s a whole lot more when you connect with a team.

Proverbs 15:22 RV Where there is no counsel, purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counselors they are established.

We all need a place where we can realize our full potential because it’s not going to happen for you us alone. The real motivation is for you because it’s going to help you to go farther. The more you connect to the body the stronger you grow

(James 5:16) “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

Who can benefit greatly from a Champion’s table? Those who have…

  • Those who has a blind side and are vulnerable
  • Those who have ever been disappointed – Lost trust –have been hurt
  • Anyone who has or had “you know… that thing. (Rom.7:15-18)
  • One who doesn’t have a Barnabas to come along side of them mutually sharing love, significances, and security when you are dealing with that thing.
  • Desire to maintain a strong marriage

As pastors we all know that we cannot do everything or just can’t commit to another thing.  Nevertheless there will always be a lot of thing things that is urgent,   but there are a few are critical. The critical being the most important.

Luke 10:41 ESV But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things,

Whatever you do first affects the rest.

(Hebrews 10:25) “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

There are pastors who have struggled, stumbled and fell. Many have left the ministry because of discouragement. Plenty has lost their families, and some have even taken their own lives. Most of whom I believe loved and honored God and did the best that they could. But I am convinced that the baseline of their demise were the lacked the LOVE – SIGNIFCANCE – SECURITY and knowledge of their God given POTINIAL that would come through a relationship of a close friend or brother in their life. We need a friend that sticks closer than a brother, one born for harsh conditions.

(Proverbs 17:17 ESV)  A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

These words that I have written come from personal observation, experiences, and truths that are in my heart. They are without intentions to generalize anything or anyone.

-Pastor Don Rhone Sr.-

Bridge of The Bay Community Church.

 

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Who Cuts the Barber’s Hair?

Who cuts the barber’s hair? Who pastors the pastor? Who shepherd’s the shepherd? Who do I go to when I need council or advice? I can’t go to my staff, they look to me for leadership. Sometimes, a staff member could be the cause of my stress! I don’t want to burden my wife with every problem in the church because she didn’t marry her pastor, she married her husband. What’s a pastor to do?

Last Saturday I took my grandson to the barber shop. Sitting there I noticed that all these young barbers had neat looking haircuts, some shaved and some styled. I thought to myself, they must cut each other’s hair. I asked the young man, hey who cuts your hair? He replied Oh, he does, he’s cuts everybody’s, He’s the best barber here. Ah ha, I said to myself. I need to find a pastor better than me, or least longer in the ministry, who can impart to me guidance, advice and wisdom.

The Champions table was never intended to be a Bible study, I know the Bible. It was never intended to be a church growth seminar, the Lord builds his church. It was created to be a safe haven for men who just happen to be pastors. My table is a place where I can unload weekly on my brothers, my co-laborers. It’s a place where love and encouragement meet. A place of respite and refreshment is how I would describe my weekly trip to my ministerial barber shop however it takes place in our local I.H.O.P.

Pastors, fellow laborers in the Lord’s work, get sharpened weekly by joining a Champions table near you. It can make you a better husband, father, grandfather and it may just spill over into your pastor role.

Blessings,

Pastor Rev. Fred Harrold AAed, BAom, MAbs

One Accord Church, Plant City, Fl. USA

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Empowered for Transformation

We jumped in head first with faith of a mustard seed and have been amazed every step of the way how our Lord blesses. We also realize how it takes continuous fertilizing for that seed to grow.

Paul and I are overwhelmed how Pastors and wives are clutching onto this calling of “ALL PRO PASTORS” and how much they are craving to be the men and women God called them to be—-as individuals, husbands, wives and parents, becoming a blessing for their ministries.

Unless you have been there it’s hard to understand

Why is it that we find it difficult to sympathize with others if we haven’t walked in their steps? As the wife of a pastor, she feels like others can’t imagine what she should deal with daily.

I hear the wives saying:

I work all day and come home with the phone ringing off the hook……

They expect me to be there for every meeting, occasion, shower, funeral,        births, dinner….

He is never home when we need him….

His mistress is the church…

He is too tired when he gets home to play with the kids, missing their games and activities….

If only we could get away for a weekend together without feeling guilty….

I have no one to share my REAL feelings, pain and thoughts with….

Who can I really trust?……

I MARRIED THE MAN…………NOT THE PASTOR!

 

Hopefully, if your husband is NOT already in a CHAMPIONS TABLE—-He soon will be!

Be sure to look at our website “ALLPROPASTORS.ORG”, if you are not familiar yet with all the All Pro Pastors is doing, I am sure it will give you some encouragement.

We are witnessing some remarkable changes in MEN who happen to be PASTORS, and because of those changes we can’t help but to notice some very HAPPY wives.

Ladies, I urge you to pray with your husband. If he hasn’t already initiated it you may have to do it for him.

We are in a WAR ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We need to pray for our husbands before they walk out the door in the morning.

He needs that FULL ARMOR on so that he can tackle each problem, temptation, and only heaven knows what else during the day.

Yes, ladies he needs our prayers more than ever before to have the wisdom and courage to stand up to what God has called him for. I PROMISE-you will see the MAN that you married real soon!

Please contact me if there is anything I can do or help you with.

Your Servant,

linda

 

 

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Practical Tips on Listening and Speaking in Marriage

(1) Listen to what is being said rather than planning the next statements you intend to make.

(2) Eliminate distractions such as loud noises, the telephone, the TV, or computer.  Also pray first that God will lead you to a proper place and proper time.

(3) Repeat what has been said. This helps your spouse know you have truly understood what she/he said and meant.

(4) Ask questions if you need something clarified, such as, “Would you like some advice or do you want me to just listen?”

(5) Stay on the issue being discussed rather than making it personal. Refuse to have a mindset of getting revenge. I Corinthians 13:5 (NIV) declares that love keeps no record of wrongs. That means a loving spouse does not bring up old arguments or issues to use in an attack. Statements such as, “There you go again!” or “You always…” only create hostility and defensiveness.

(6) Remember that love always hopes for (assumes) the best (I Cor. 13:7 AMP). Assume that your spouse is concerned about what is best for the relationship. Always show love and think right towards your spouse.

(7) Use “I” centered messages. Make statements such as, “I feel discouraged, “rather than “You make me so mad!” Center upon your own emotions and feelings, but remain on the real issue. The use of “you” during an argument may cause the listener to be defensive and feel personally attacked.

(8) Remember that love is patient (I Corinthians 13:4, Hebrews 10:35-36, James 1:4). Wait for the most appropriate time to bring up an important issue. Introducing a big issue when your spouse first comes through the door from a long day at work, or after a hectic day of running errands is simply not a good idea.

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Sex, Money and Power: Table Talk

How do we treat God's Gifts?Dear Pastor,

A few years ago God put a strong word in me about the struggles Pastors have with sex, money and power. As people that are human we have the same driving issues that every other person has. The flesh that we live in has hungers that if not “Disciplined” will ruin our lives our families and our ministries! Sex has been made to be a dirty word by many pastors and churches because the world has been very abusive and seductive in its portrayal of it, however the beautiful union between a man and a woman was given to us by God. God set this special gift aside to be between a man and his wife as a Holy Union that demonstrates the oneness of marriage. Our challenge to you today is to ask yourself, am I seeking to be like the world or am I seeking to be like God. In other words, am I treating sex as “Holy Intimacy” as a gift or am I treating it as a flesh satisfying action where God is forgotten?

Pastors, we must not allow ourselves to stay in the trap of the enemy filling our eyes, mind and actions with sexual fantasies. This is a sure way to total failure and perhaps eternity in the pit of hell. Yes, we said hell! Let us say this very truthful statement, “Your Actions and Words Identify Whose you really are!”  The only way to defeat the enemy in this arena is to (1) Be “full” of God’s word (2) Obey the Holy Spirit (3) Put NOTHING before your eyes that cause temptation (4) If Married- Have Holiness in your intimacy and make your bed an altar before God (5) Engage in weekly Accountability The Bible teaches that the love of Money is the root of all kinds of evil. Having Money or lacking Money is definitely a driving force in peoples lives today.

As Pastors we must have Money for ministry. We must have money for survival. We must answer the question that if we serve an all powerful and loving God why are so many Christians struggling to eat and pay bills. These are questions that we face constantly. The wealthy Pastor versus the poor Pastor is a very difficult challenge. What we know is very clear, “Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven”! “Where your heart is there is also your treasure!” These are just two of the truths of God’s word. As Pastors we volunteer to give up our lives to serve the Lord. Money is the defining tool God uses to determine where your heart is. God may choose to bless one greatly and another not. He looks at the heart. But be aware, the enemy can pour money and earthly treasures on you as well giving you the choice, who are you going to serve?

The questions you may need to also ask is, do I have any idols in my closet? Would you be willing to sell all to follow Jesus? If the answer is No, then perhaps you need to examine your heart and see if Jesus lives there. If the answer is yes then you need to live like it! Treat everything you have as if it were Jesus’ and he expects you to return it to him. Having Money is a good thing as long as it doesn’t own you! Power and Glory are battles that all Pastors face. They are either inward or outward. Being in control as the Shepherd is a genuine responsibility that must be taken seriously. Falling into the deception that we are to control and dictate has caused the destruction of many great Pastors. Leading as a Bold servant of God who understands the authority you operate under is critical to having a highly blessed/successful ministry. Power struggles in church leadership, pastoral staffs and congregational leaders continue to be one of the primary tools satan uses to destroy churches and pastors.

Self center attitudes by pastors breeds destructive tendencies as well. Being in charge is a constant battle and it often stems from home life. The worlds way says, “it’s all about me”! The idea of being a humble servant is not very appealing based on worldly standards however Jesus humbled himself to become a man. The fact is that when you truly know who you are in Jesus and you know how to live under his authority then being humble is a necessity. Why? Because you walk in His Power and Authority, not your own. You walk in the fullness of Holy Spirit and are confident! Pastor, I pray that you will examine yourself today and get with your fellow Champions and review these three major battle grounds for Christians/Pastors. Dissect them, search the scriptures establish a checks and balance/accountability. It is our prayer that this brief letter will bring things to your attention that will cause you to stretch to a higher calling and a higher walk with the lord Jesus. We also pray that you will become the leader and pastor that God called you to be by humbling yourself and praying daily more fervently than ever before. We love you and continue to pray for you. Your Servant, paul        

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The Pink Elephant in the Church

Hello dear friends, there has been an invasion in God’s church and it has been named “The Pink Elephant”. This Pink Elephant looks harmless and has many people wanting to look at it ride it and even feed it and yet it is crushing men women and children by the thousands. This Pink Elephant’s history is widely known and despite it’s familiarity the church has unwittingly allowed it to enter.

Friends we have message of warning that we beg you to see and hear. This video will open your eyes and prepare you to defend against and defeat this awesome and terrible enemy. Please watch this to its end and pray that God will empower you with His Spirit to have victory.

We are praying for you.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoVLXFdjlyw&list=UUHh5YIfMcC0KI9UeRJIpHvA&feature=share

 

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