How to Listen so My Spouse Will Talk!

CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN MARRIAGE

The premise of productive listening is with our hearts. It is imperative that we grow in equanimity (having soundness of mind with spiritual discernment). Listen, any marriage that is successful values emotional connectivity as a jewel of understanding.

• During the conversation exchange, if you don’t hear the words, “I need your advice,” then don’t give any. Generally, when a man speaks, facing times of conflict and problems, it is a picture of what he is thinking in terms of solutions and advice, or how to fix it. He is by nature, thinking logically about the problem and may offer advice too quickly. The need for discipline and self-control is essential.

Usually, when a woman speaks, facing conflict and problems, what she says is a picture of what she is feeling. By nature, she is emotionally expressing herself; however, emotional balance and temperance is a signature value for her.

It is vitally important that both husband and wife learn to listen and not lecture and to console and not counsel.

• Show humility and empathy (John 11:30-36).                                               Jesus identified with the people at Lazarus’ death, displaying a powerful emotional moment. In times of conflict, emotional stress, or marital perils, spouses should demonstrate genuine care and concern for each other.

• When you hurt with words, heal with words.                                                     Our Father God has given us some awesome guidance. Let’s look at Proverbs 25:11-“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” Tactful words are always the right words. Let’s look at one more scripture; Col. 4:6a –“Let your speech always be with grace and seasoned with salt.”

• Healing also comes with touch. A study was done of 200 hospital patients. One hundred were touched and one hundred were not touched. The ones who were touched healed much faster than the ones who were not touched.     

Husbands and wives, take advantage of the healing and comfort of touch.

Take the other person by the hand and pray. Prayer lifts the person from feelings to faith (Matt. 18:19-20).  Because of marriage, you have a permanent lifelong prayer partner. We say that there is power in prayer, so let’s take advantage of the power that God has given us.                                                                                          

Pastor Jesse and Brenda McNeil

Pastors Jesse and Brenda McNeil are Assistant Pastors at Word Alive Ministries, Inc. in Lakeland, Florida. They are committed marriage and family pastors, advisors, and teachers, offering premarital preparation, personal advisory, post marital advisory, and wedding services to any-one who desires. Pastor Jesse is also the author of the very influential book, “Powerful Principles for Choosing a Marriage Partner.” The McNeils have been married for more than 42 years and have worked together as a dynamic, unified ministry team for over 36 years. You are sure to be blessed and in-spired by their awesome ministry.

Family Focus Ministry
Pastors Jesse & Brenda McNeil
Every person is worth understanding!
Services Offered:
Premarital Preparation, Post Marital Advisory,
Marriage Ceremonies, Seminars & Speaking Engagements
For comments or questions email us at: ffm@tampabay.rr.com
or call 863-944-2283 or 863-944-0762