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(1) Stay connected with her emotionally. Your wife wants you to understand how she feels, and she wants to know what is going on in your heart and mind as well. “Listen, God cares so much about this that He instructed the newlywed husband to invest a year into nothing but the happiness of his wife. He is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married” (Deut. 24:5).

(2) Avoid criticism that threatens her sense of self-worth. She needs to know that you love her for who she is, regardless of what she does or doesn’t do. Tell her regularly that you love her, no matter what.

(3) Talk to her and pray with her. Communication is the key to creating intimacy with your wife. Make time every day to have meaningful interaction with her. Ask questions about her day. “Listen, look her in the eyes, ask how she’s doing and really listen to her answer.”

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Services Offered:
Premarital Preparation, Post Marital Advisory,
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For comments or questions email us at:
ffm@tampabay.rr.com or call 863-944-2283 or 863-944-0762

A successful marriage is a give and take relationship, with each person doing as follows:

90% giving and 10% taking = 100% success

 

Here are ten questions to ask yourself when testing your ability to give and take.

 

(1) Are you willing to give silence when your spouse needs a little quiet time

(Proverbs 5:1-2)?

 

(2) Are you willing to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt (Proverbs 2:2)?

(3) Are you willing to take a rebuke or correction and let it rest unchallenged

(Proverbs 3: 11-12)?

 

(4) Are you willing to take on the extra chores during a time when you know your

spouse if feeling stressed, sick, or tired (Ecc. 4:9)?

 

(5) Are you willing to give positive words of encouragement (I Thes. 5:11)?

 

(6) Are you willing to give time to spend with your spouse – alone, without interruptions

(Eph. 5:25)?

 

(7) Are you willing to give your spouse the courtesy of “please” and

“Thank-you” (I Cor. 13:5)?

 

(8) Are you willing to take a “time-out” when a disagreement appears to be overheating

(James 1:19)?

 

(9) Are you willing to give a compliment (Col. 4:6)?

 

(10) Are you willing to take criticism?

(A) Be careful starting a sentence with “you never” or “you always” (Prov. 25:11).

(B) If you give more – the take becomes easier.

(C) If you must criticize, do it lovingly.

 

Listen, if you could not answer yes to all of these questions, please take heart. Marriage is a growing process, a “marathon,” not a “sprint.” As each of you grow in your willingness to give and take, you will grow closer together. “Be gentle and ready to forgive, never hold grudges (Col. 3:13 TLB).

 

 

(Commentary by Cheryl Johnston)

What a day of refreshing and practical encouragement was the 2nd Annual All-Pro Pastors and Wives Conference held on May 9, 2013 at Champions Church in Winter Haven.

The more than 115 attendees from Central Florida were treated to a well-organized program of powerful messages, practical advice, a great lunch, and opportunities to network with supportive organizations such as Moody Radio Florida 91.1 FM, Kingdom Life University, Strong Tower Insurance, World Action Radio & TV Network, and the National Center for Life & Liberty, among others.

Pierre Chestang of Moody Radio Florida emceed and author Richard Mull and Natasha Malpeli led with worship music. In addition to some of the early speakers in both the morning and afternoon portions, women enjoyed two breakout sessions.

Over and over were heard these comments: “Wow, so powerful!” “Great advice.” “Those ideas gave me a whole new perspective.” “I had never thought about it from that approach before.” “Thank God for my Champions Table group.”

In addition to the “Champions Table” accountability groups of 3-4 men who meet weekly for friendship and encouragement, the international All-Pro Pastors ministry now has its first groups for women. This is a ministry for people who are hungry for God and who desire with their whole hearts to see Him made known throughout the world.

Without a doubt, founders Paul and Linda Pickern are two of those.

 

Hats off for an incredible day of revival for area pastors and their wives, and all glory be to Jesus Christ, our Lord.

 

On February 14 All Pro Pastors and Moody Radio 91.1 FM Florida had our first Pastor Spouse Valentine Day Luncheon. Everyone recieved gift bags, Pastor Dwight and Mary Edwards were awarded an expense paid vacation to the Dominican Republic for being married the longest. Pastor Benny Keck and First Baptist Church of Dover, Florida hosted and served the Pastors and wives who attended. We were blessed by Dean and Dawn Jones with beautiful songs of love and encouragement. The Chicken Cordon Bleau melted in your mouth and the dessert was “to live for”! Pierre Chestang of Moody Radio Emceed the day and kept the place hopping and flowing smoothing.

Next year, we are already making plans to have an evening event with much much more. Make plans now to attend next years event! Get it on your calendar.

Thursday January 17th was our first 2013 USA luncheon for All Pro Pastors. Many Pastors and wives attended. The testimonies of how God was using the Champion Tables to encourage and strengthen marriages and ministries brought many tears. One wife declared that her husband’s Champion Table had saved their marriage. Praise God! The Champion Table is a place where we as Pastors can go and feel totally SAFE and totally Honest.

Rehoboth Faith Cathedral hosted and put on a fully catered mouth watering meal. The team, Pastor Willie Bolden has, did a wonderful job.

The beautiful testimony is there were Baptist Pastors sitting with Assembly of God Pastors and Messianic Rabbi’s with Pentecostal Bishops at the same table sharing and laughing together like a family should. Both Black and White, Nigerian and Indian Pastors all together as one one body who love Jesus and each other.

The Champion Table is helping Pastors learn to Trust one another and bring the Kingdom together. If you are not in a Champion Table, start one today. It will change your life.

Thursday January 17th was our first 2013 USA luncheon for All Pro Pastors. Many Pastors and wives attended. The testimonies of how God was using the Champion Tables to encourage and strengthen marriages and ministries brought many tears. One wife declared that her husband’s Champion Table had saved their marriage. Praise God! The Champion Table is a place where we as Pastors can go and feel totally SAFE and totally Honest.

Rehoboth Faith Cathedral hosted and put on a fully catered mouth watering meal. The team, Pastor Willie Bolden has, did a wonderful job.

The beautiful testimony is there were Baptist Pastors sitting with Assembly of God Pastors and Messianic Rabbi’s with Pentecostal Bishops at the same table sharing and laughing together like a family should. Both Black and White, Nigerian and Indian Pastors all together as one one body who love Jesus and each other.

The Champion Table is helping Pastors learn to Trust one another and bring the Kingdom together. If you are not in a Champion Table, start one today. It will change your life.

We praise God for giving us a sunny blue sky day last Saturday June 9th for our Central Florida 3rd Annual Day of Play at Schalamar Creek Golf Club in Lakeland Florida. We had a full field of Pastors and wives play in a Scramble format with -17 as the winning score. Many wives and other women in ministry spent the day in the huge BallRoom enjoying games, crafts, cooking demonstrations, dress for Success and much more. We had 7 golfers putt in a putt-off for a chance to putt for $5000. Jimmy Pearce won the putt-off but missed the putt. Visiting Pastor Ariel B. from Cuba had the chance to try a hole in one drive for 1 Million Dollars. It was his first time ever playing golf. No one was surprised that his ball missed the mark but all were thrilled that he won the chance to try.

It was a wonderful day of fun and laughter. This event was sponsored by many fine businesses and friends. (Keep an eye out for a new sponsorship page coming soon to this website) Schalamar Creek Golf Club has been a great host for the past three years and we hope to have many more Golf events there for years to come. Golf Pro Tom Wheary and his team are the absolute best! Grandpa Johnsons Barbeque from nearby Plant City provided the lunch for the third year in a row and it was a big hit! Peter Frantzis , UBS Investment business Owner and Randy Knapp, Owner of RLK Development were again our Platinum Sponsors!

We cannot express our thanks enough to everyone who made this FREE event for Pastors and Wives possible. Thank You!!!!

This event has a long list of planning team members who spent 3 months preparing to make this a tremendous day. Thank you, Travis-chairman, Sam and Linda,”H” and Rhonda, Ed, Jesse and Brenda, Chad, and John J for your faithfulness and love for our Pastors/Wives. All Pro Pastors ministry is blessed to have you lead the way each year to make this so successful!

Another thank you for the special presentation by Keith Goodson-America’s number one Christian Artist’s. Keith Painted 2 paintings to bless this event and make it unique. His paintings of Jesus are magnificent!

Pastors we are honored to serve you and we are committed to pray for you and encourage you to stay the course, fight the good fight and don’t forget to stop regularly to laugh, rest, play and just get away to have some fun.

We Love You!


March 2012

Dear Friends and Beloved of God,

Linda and I are sincerely thankful for your prayers and continued support of All Pro Pastors. God has heard your prayers and this ministry is growing at an amazing rate. Pastors and their wife’s are testifying on a  daily basis of how APP is encouraging them and giving them strength to stay the course.

Pastor Moses Brown from Tampa spent 10 days in February for a Pastors conference in Kenya, Africa and started a new All Pro Pastors Chapter. Since his visit 16 New Champion Tables have started in Africa. 

 “ChampionTables” are starting to form all throughout the world, simply because Pastors need each other as men to lean on, talk to, laugh with and cry with. Most people do not know how lonely being a Pastor or a Pastors Wife can be. We need to be encouraged to live up to the standards God expects and requires us to. And perhaps more so, we need trusted friends to pick us up when we fail and fall short. Praise God that a great “Champions Table” will not kick us when we are down. We lift each other up and offer a shoulder to lean on for as long as it takes. The “Table” challenges us to keep our relationships with God and family in proper order so that we stay qualified as Pastors to lead and be living examples.

You need to know that you are helping reach Ten’s of Thousand’s of people for Jesus throughout the world through All Pro Pastors. The Pastors that we serve are encouraged to stay the course and stand strong through the struggles. They are comforted and challenged to link arms with each other to hold each other up when the going gets tougher!! These Pastors lead large and small congregations that rely on them to be living examples of Jesus. They give hope when things look hopeless. This ministry provides a safe place where Pastors can rest each week and truly lay their mantle off for a few minutes and breathe in a fresh breath of Holy Spirit with a few other hungry warriors for Christ! It is a place that they receive a re-fill of hope for themselves and power to move mountains!

We ask that you pray that every Pastor have the opportunity and challenge to become a part of a Champion Table. We are expecting to reach 1000’s of Pastors this year through the internet, personal engagements, Pastors telling Pastors and other media we expect God to open up. We ask that you pray for God to open doors and to provide provisions to see this vision come to pass quickly. What do you believe would happen if our Pastors started loving one another across all the divisions that exist today? We would see an amazing outpouring of His Spirit that would shake the world from the bottom up to the top!

Thank you for continuing to help us help Pastors develop trust with one another and embrace personal challenging accountability! Now tell someone else about this ministry and what God is doing.

Your Servants, Paul and Linda

PS. Please read through our local and Global news on page (2) and the Vision on the last page.

Pastor Fred challenged the men and women who attended today’s luncheon at the Hawthorne Inn  in Lakeland Florida to stay focused on Christ as they focused on their spouses. It is true that we have wandering eyes that are built in but these eyes do not have to thirst with lust and immoral desires. As men we must admit that looking is what men do but what happens next is where the battles are often the hardest fought. We need to hold each other accountable to stay true to our wives and strong in our passion for God’s Word. The lust of the eyes has been the starting place for many who fall. Admitting that it is a real battle is where many men need to start. It is easy to say that you don’t look but we doubt your honesty with your self. Looking is normal. God built that into to us, but fighting off the temptation that follows strengthens us to stand strong when tougher battles confront us. How good it is to surround ourselves with Champion brothers to help us stand firm. Praise God!

Fred also shared about how our desires for possessions can destroy lives, marriages and churches. Our lust for the things of this earth can easily become our next IDOL! Financial honesty is critical in every marriage! Secrets are the road to trouble. Keep it open and honest even if it hurts.

Power struggles are common as Pastors, from boards at the church to that long time member who thinks they own the church. It can also be a struggle at home when a husband and wife allow the church to be their “playing field for arguments”. Men you need to date your wife every day. Treat her with loving compassion as Christ certainly treats you. Wives need to respect and support your husband even allowing him to fail. As long as he is trying support his efforts. Husbands need to realize that your wife wants you to succeed and probably has good ideas if you will ask and listen. She loves you! It is up to you to fight off the attacks of the enemy by showing kindness and respect for one another!

Above all, pray together hand in hands!!!! Every Day!!!! Do not pray at one another. Let’s face it, we are in WARFARE and it is our responsibility to utilize the armor and the weapons God has given us. Men, today you were charged to step up as real men of God and be a “CHAMPION”. Joining a Champions Table may be your next step. Being honest at your Table may be where you are?! Some may need to take good counsel and apply it. It may save your marriage, family, children, and possibly your church. One Pastor’s wife said today that the Champions Table has saved their marriage “for now“, but there is more work to do! The Champions Table is a safe place and it can also be the place that fuels your life with the wisdom and energy you thirst for!

Now, what are you going to do about it????

 

January 19th was a great day for Pastors who attended the luncheon at the Evangelical Presbyterian Church in Plant City Florida. Fred Harrold gave an inspiring word about how Pastors are like all men. We fight to remain pure with our eyes our hearts and our minds. In this world that wants to walk around with more skin showing and less dress it makes it very challenging. We struggle with managing our budgets with less money with less value and also pride can easily lift its ugly head. When this happens it is easy to say those regrettable things we have to repent for. Pastor Fred did not hold back, “Ladies, skin is not our friend, we need your help”! Modety will only come back when our Women leaders reset the standard.  The resounding word was that we as men need each other to hold one another accountable.

The “Champions Table” is the safe place for Pastors to go to for what we call “Encourability” which is encouraging accountability. At the Table we can look each other in the eyes and ask the tough questions that will help us to remain morally pure and blameless before God and our family.

What a tremendous luncheon it was and a special thanks goes to Johnsons Barbeque in Plant City Florida for catering it. Thanks to all the Pastors and wives who attended. We pray that you were truly blessed!!!!

Thank you goes to Abundant Life Church of God in Lakeland for hosting the 2011 Pastors Summit and Expo. It was by far the best we have seen. The Mission Possible team were truly amazing. The Planning team headed up by Travis and Rob were nothing short of remarkable. While we are giving out compliments we must identify Chuck, “H”, Lew, Everette, Tony, Marie, Ed, Dudley, Jessie, Rhonda, Curt, Pierre, and many others for all their time effort and prayers. A BIG Thank you goes to Pastor Ron for allowing us to use the event center. (We Highly Recommend This To Anyone For Their Next Event!)

The Pastor and Wives luncheon was far more inspiring than anyone expected. The atmosphere was created to bring our pastors and wives the feeling of true elegance! All of the beautiful decor and arrangements were done by “Zorita” and Marie!!! The food presentation from chef Ed demonstrated his artistic gift. Tony Ponceti was the perfect Host and the words of encouragement from Nolan and Kathy moved the hearts of all of us.

The EXPO brought many visitors from the community and a lot of introductions were made. The vendors met many potential customers because of the hard work and team work of the planning team. Having the EXPO this year for the first time on Saturday allowed many more people to attend. The Kids Midway offered lots of fun including free face painting and cotton candy. It was lots of fun. Thank you again to Mission Possible!!(This is a special group of young adults from Abundant Life who are committed to serving others, and they did a super job!)

It was a real community effort with churches joining together to promote this as a community event. Having Mayor Gow Fields Speak during the Expo and at the Pastors and Wives Luncheon was a great highlight and tribute!

We thank God for His provision and bringing this event together. Thank you for coming to all the guests, vendors, pastors and volunteers. Praise God!!! Next year will be even bigger and better. Thank You Again!

On June 18,2011 starting at 7:00AM we are having an event for pastors, wives and women in ministry called the “Day of Play“. It is a golf tournament at Schalamar Creek Golf club in Lakeland Florida and a day of other fun activities for wives and women who are non-golfers.

This event is primarily for Pastors and their wives (if married) to have a day of fun and relaxation. In fact many pastors last year who played said that it was their first time ever playing GOLF. The women who came were treated like royalty!

Please Note: It is not for Church Staff, it is for Pastors and for their spouse who need a day away of fun and relaxation. 

To register please send to: register@allpropastors.org                           Include  Names, Church, Address, E-MAIL and Phone Number, specific pastoral position and name of spouses if attending.  

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Newly Revised Statistics

  • 72% of the pastors report working between 55 to75 hours per week.
  • 84% of pastors feel they are on call 24/7.
  • 80% believe pastoral ministry has negativelyaffected their families. Many pastor’s children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.
  • 65% of pastors feel their family lives in a “glass house” and fear they are not good enough to meet expectations.
  • 23% of pastors report being distant to their family.
  • 78% of pastors report having their vacation and personal time interrupted with ministry duties or expectations.
  • 65% of pastors feel they have not taken enough vacation time with their family over the last 5 years.
  • 28% of pastors report having feelings of guilt for taking personal time off and not telling the church.
  • 35% of pastors report the demands of the church denies them from spending time with their family.
  • 24% of pastor’s families resent the church and its effect on their family.
  • 22% of pastor’s spouses reports the ministry places undue expectations on their family.
  • 66% of church members expect a minister and family to live at a higher moral standard than themselves.
  • Moral values of a Christian is no different than those who consider themselves as non-Christians.
  • The average American will tell 23 lies a day.
  • 53% of pastors report that the seminary did not prepare them for the ministry.
  • 90% of pastors report the ministry was completely different than what they thought it would be like before they entered the ministry.
  • 45% of pastors spend 10-15 hours a week on sermon preparation.
  • 85% of pastors report the use of the internet and other resources have improved their study time compared to when they first started their ministry.
  • 50% of pastors state they spend 1 hour in prayer each day.
  • 95% of pastors report not praying daily or regularly with their spouse.
  • 57% of pastors believe they do not receive a livable wage.
  • 57% of pastors being unable to pay their bills.
  • 53% of pastors are concerned about their future family financial security.
  • 75% of pastors report significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.
  • 80% of pastors and 84% of their spouses have felt unqualified and discouraged as role of pastors at least one or more times in their ministry.
  • 52% of pastors feel overworked and cannot meet their church’s unrealistic expectations.
  • 54% of pastors find the role of a pastor overwhelming.
  • 40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once in the last year.
  • 80% of pastors expect conlfict within their church.
  • 75% of pastors report spending 4-5 hours a week in needless meetings.
  • 35% of pastors battle depression or fear of inadequacy.
  • 26% of pastors report being over fatigued.
  • 28% of pastors report they are spiritually undernurished.
  • Over 50% of pastors state the biggest challenge is to recruit volunteers and encourage their members to change (living closer to God’s Word).
  • 70% of pastors report they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.
  • 70% of pastors do not have someone they consider to be a close friend.
  • 27% of pastors report not having anyone to turn to for help in a crisis situation.
  • 81% of pastors have been tempted to have inappropriate sexual thoughts or behavior with someone in the church but have resisted.
  • 17% of pastors report inappropriately texting with a church member at sometime in their ministry.
  • 34% of pastors wrestle with the temptation of pornography or visits pornographic sites.
  • 57% of pastors feel fulfilled but yet discouraged, stressed, and fatigued.
  • 84% of pastors desire to have close fellowhip with someone they can trust and confide with.
  • Over 50% of pastors are unhealthy, overweight, and do not exercise.
  • The profession of “Pastor” is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions, just above “car salesman”.
  • Many denominations are reporting an “Empty Pulpit Crisis”.  They do nto have a shortage of ministers but have a shortage of ministers desiring to fill the role of a pastor.
  • 71% of churches have no plan for a pastor to receive a periodic sabbatical.
  • 66% of churches have no lay counseling support.
  • 30% of churches have no documentation clearly outlining what the church expects of their pastor.
  • 1 out of every 10 pastors will actually retire as a pastor.

Improvements:

  • 73% of churches are treating their pastors better.  This statistic has improved due to the advent of clergy appreciation, better education on the role of the pastor, and denominational awareness to better supporting their pastors.
  • 77% of pastors, especially millennials ( younger pastors ages usually born around 1978-1990), are spending 20 or more hours with their families each week.
  • 90% of pastors feel they are called and in the place where God has called them.

Statistics provided by The Fuller Institute, George Barna, Lifeway, Schaeffer Institute of Leadership Development, and Pastoral Care Inc.