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TWELVE WAYS TO RELATE TO YOUR HUSBAND

(To identify with or to make him feel special)

  1. Don’t interrupt or correct him when he is telling a story.
  2. Compliment him in front of his children, your parents, his parents and friends.
  3. Let him have some time to relax when he arrives home from work.
  4. Develop a genuine interest in his work and hobbies.
  5. Admire him for his strength and significance.
  6. If he wants to take a lunch to work, pack it for him.
  7. Try to be home (and off the phone) when he gets home from work and be up

in the morning when he leaves.

  1. Help your kids be excited about Dad’s coming home.
  2. Understand when he wants to spend time enjoying sports or hobbies with his

friends.

  1. Keep his favorite snack on hand.
  2. Stick to your budget.
  3. Watch his favorite sporting events with him.

Family Focus Ministry (ffm@tampabay.rr.com)

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Pastors Jesse and Brenda McNeil are Assistant Pastors at Word Alive Ministries, Inc. in Lakeland, Florida. They are committed marriage and family pastors, advisors, and teachers, offering premarital preparation, personal advisory, post marital advisory, and wedding services to any-one who desires. Pastor Jesse is also the author of the very influential book, “Powerful Principles for Choosing a Marriage Partner.” The McNeils have been married for more than 42 years and have worked together as a dynamic, unified ministry team for over 36 years. You are sure to be blessed and in-spired by their awesome ministry.

Family Focus Ministry
Pastors Jesse & Brenda McNeil
Every person is worth understanding!
Services Offered:
Premarital Preparation, Post Marital Advisory,
Marriage Ceremonies, Seminars & Speaking Engagements
For comments or questions email us at: ffm@tampabay.rr.com
or call 863-944-2283 or 863-944-0762

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Is Your Name Nobody?

Judges 9:53 NKJV “But a certain woman dropped an upper millstone on Abimelech’s head and crushed his skull.”  Wow, some real drama and a historical victory for God’s children. However, one day as I read the account I related to it very personally.  In pastoral ministry I was often referred to as Carlotta or Ms. B. Both were pleasing to me; they were personal. Yet when being introduced in pastoral, missions and itinerary ministry I have been introduced innumerable times as, “Larry’s wife.”  I do like the sound of it because I love being his wife. But I am also an individual. Don’t misunderstand, I am not one of those ministers’ wives who goes around trying to establish a platform by declaring, “But what about me, I have something to offer too.”  However, I will admit that on one occasion when being introduced as merely Larry’s wife, by a pastor with whom we had been in close fellowship for years, I demonstrated some holy boldness – well, some kind of boldness – and declared, “You know I do have a name.”  Please recognize what I am saying. There are times when such an introduction is appropriate, but when the opportunity presents itself anyone can appreciate respect and personal acceptance.

 

I had often read this story of a “certain” woman but until this time had not researched and determined that the same reference is so frequently included in Scripture for other women and men.  It sounds like the introduction of more modern day stories reading, “Once upon a time….”

 

Now the lesson that I would like to present from the Judges 9 story is something that stirred my heart and continues to challenge me.  I won’t go into a lot of detail since you know the story and can further study at your convenience, but the main facts are as follows:

 

  1. The certain woman, along with her fellow citizens, had fled into the city’s strong tower because they were being pursued by the wicked king Abimelech who had killed his brothers, seventy sons of Jerubbaal (Gideon).  God had lifted His restraints because of his many cruel and evil deeds. At last the people revolted against the king’s ungodly rule.
  2. The king saw the vulnerability of the people, approached the tower himself and was attempting to set fire to the entrance.
  3. Mind you, the tower was crowded with all the citizens who had climb it in desperation but note –
  4. A certain woman saw opportunity, acted upon it, proved courageous and dropped a millstone on Abimelech’s head, crushing his skull.  This action caused him to beg to be killed by his men so it couldn’t be said that it was a woman who had destroyed him.

This woman is still an example of encouragement to us.  In fact, she reminds me of another woman in Judges, Jael.  They both saw opportunity and seized the moment. One is not named and one is. You may be made to feel at times that your name is “No Name.” The challenge is this – are you presenting yourself to be a certain woman or a certain man?  Regardless of whether your name is mentioned or is not.  The point is that you are you. You are vital, whether in vocational ministry, education, business, the medical field, the arts, stay-at-home parenting, even in a state of physical disability.  We hear the term marketplace frequently. The marketplace has always been the place of mingling, interaction. So may I say it this way? Your marketplace is anywhere and everywhere you take in oxygen and do life.  Be the person who sees need, sees opportunity, seizes the moment, takes action for God and man. You are God’s certain woman or God’s certain man.  You have His favor, His help, His anointing as soon as you put your hand/your mind/your voice to what is provided.  He is still saying “well done” to the woman in Judges 9 and he says “well-done” to your obedience.

Dr. Larry Bennett writes from the perspective of an experienced warrior on the front lines, not one of an armchair observer. He has a strong apostolic/prophetic anointing and Dr. Bennett has served in many facets of ministry giving him the experience to share his knowledge to other leader’s. He has a strong anointing for marketplace ministry and wants to see the church rise to the new movement of releasing church members into the marketplace.
If you wish to contact Dr. Bennett you may do so through his email which is ch.larrybennett57@gmail.com, or call him at 863-206-2567.

Carlotta Bennett grew up in a Christian home, met her husband, Larry, in a Christian college and became a partner in various aspects of ministry. She is also a mother and a grandmother. Along with the supportive role to her husband’s ministry she has had experience in various leadership roles – Bible teacher, conference speaker, music and writing. She has ministered in numerous states, Europe, South America, Australia and the Caribbean Islands. Her ministry theme is The Courageous Living Series. Her primary focus at this point in time is writing.

Carlotta Bennett/Courageous Living

rcarlotta02@gmail.com

863-307-7128

TWELVE WAYS TO RELATE TO YOUR WIFE

(To identify with or to make her feel special)

1. Have good conversation when you’d rather read the paper or watch tv.
2. Give her a back rub with no expectation of physical intimacy.
3. Keep your home repaired and in good order. ***
4. Make sure the car has good tires and is in good running condition. ***
5. Hold her hand when you lead the family prayer.
6. Find a way to save something from every pay check.
7. Ask for her input before making decisions.
8. Hold her tenderly when she cries, and tell her it’s okay.
9. Ask her out and plan the entire date yourself, including making the
reservations.
10. Call, if you are going to be more than fifteen minutes late.
11. Encourage her to take time out with her friends.
12. Remember to carry a clean handkerchief when you go to a romantic movie.
*** (These actions make her feel more secure) ***
Family Focus Ministry (ffm@tampabay.rr.com

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Pastors Jesse and Brenda McNeil are Assistant Pastors at Word Alive Ministries, Inc. in Lakeland, Florida. They are committed marriage and family pastors, advisors, and teachers, offering premarital preparation, personal advisory, post marital advisory, and wedding services to any-one who desires. Pastor Jesse is also the author of the very influential book, “Powerful Principles for Choosing a Marriage Partner.” The McNeils have been married for more than 42 years and have worked together as a dynamic, unified ministry team for over 36 years. You are sure to be blessed and in-spired by their awesome ministry.

Family Focus Ministry
Pastors Jesse & Brenda McNeil
Every person is worth understanding!
Services Offered:
Premarital Preparation, Post Marital Advisory,
Marriage Ceremonies, Seminars & Speaking Engagements
For comments or questions email us at: ffm@tampabay.rr.com
or call 863-944-2283 or 863-944-0762

Money Personalities

Financial stress in a relationship is one of the major causes of divorce.
There are five main money personalities. Each personality has strengths
and weaknesses, with the need for temperance.
1. The Spenders can be generous with gifts on self or the people they
love; however, unmanaged spending can lead to much debt.
2. The Savers usually have little debt challenges, but can be labeled as
cheapskates or tightfisted.
3. The Security Seekers are great planners and know how to use money to
build a financial future, but they can be short-sighted and put off living
for today.
4. The Risk Takers are always looking for a money making adventure;
nevertheless, if they are not careful, may end up broke or bankrupt.
5. The Flyers are usually free from stress about money and passionate
about life and relationships, nevertheless can be headed for big
financial trouble because often times they give less attention to things
like bills, over-draft fees, over-the-limit notices and late fees.
In summary, there are pros and cons to each money personality; therefore,
it is extremely important to maintain balance and trust God for wisdom and
money moderation in handling finances. How you manage your money
personality is very important for a fruitful relationship.

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Pastors Jesse and Brenda McNeil are Assistant Pastors at Word Alive Ministries, Inc. in Lakeland, Florida. They are committed marriage and family pastors, advisors, and teachers, offering premarital preparation, personal advisory, post marital advisory, and wedding services to any-one who desires. Pastor Jesse is also the author of the very influential book, “Powerful Principles for Choosing a Marriage Partner.” The McNeils have been married for more than 42 years and have worked together as a dynamic, unified ministry team for over 36 years. You are sure to be blessed and in-spired by their awesome ministry.

Family Focus Ministry
Pastors Jesse & Brenda McNeil
Every person is worth understanding!
Services Offered:
Premarital Preparation, Post Marital Advisory,
Marriage Ceremonies, Seminars & Speaking Engagements
For comments or questions email us at: ffm@tampabay.rr.com
or call 863-944-2283 or 863-944-0762

Christmas a Time for Celebrating Life, Love and Family

Christmas should be a time of joy and a celebration of life, love and family. It should be about His presence in the earth and in our hearts.
To the retail world it’s about people spending money often on things they don’t need with money they don’t have.

I grew up in South Africa and we didn’t call him Santa but Father Christmas which I’m grateful for because as a child I saw a man with a beard, often my dad, with a red bag of gifts for the children and my memory through the eyes of a child was a father who wanted to bless his children and that’s what Christmas is about. It’s about the love our Heavenly Father has for his creation. If we want to bless our earthy children with gifts how much more does God want to shower blessing on us.

We do however need to learn to receive those gifts.
One gift we were given in the late 80’s was an understanding of the gift of Righteousness. Rom. 5:17 says, to as many as receive the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the one Christ Jesus.
We receive this gift because of His love for us. We don’t deserve gifts at Christmas we get to give them and receive them. Well we did not deserve the gift of righteousness.
Jesus paid the price for our righteousness or right standing with God.
2 Cor.5:21
He became sin that we might become His righteousness.
Seems too simple ? We over complicate the Bible as though we need to go to bible college in order to be a witness in the world.

Once we understand who we are in Christ, our identity in Him, we cannot help but want to speak of what we have seen and heard concerning the Word of life.
1 John:1 .

The Gospel is a revelation of God’s righteousness. It’s the power of God in His Word to change a life, transform a heart bring hope into hopelessness.

Rom 1:16:17
The Gospel is the power of God unto salvation first for the Jew then for the Greek. In it the ‘righteousness’ of God is ‘revealed’ from faith to faith.

Let us all become more like Children who simply trust their Father to provide.
Jesus said that we should become as little children then we would see the Kingdom. There are many that don’t see the Kingdom because they have yet to understand the simplicity and power of the cross. They are awaiting His second coming but not fully embraced His first.

Christmas is a time to become like a child and receive from our Father with child-like faith and trust so that we can go out and share the good news of the gospel with everyman in every place.
People need to see love in action so let us all be mindful of preferring one another, loving our neighbor and honoring our Savior because if we make room for Him, He will make room for us.

Nick Coetzee is a music producer and worship leader from South Africa. He has spent the past 30 years pouring into worship ministry and also developing and recording worship songs. He produced the first US release of ‘Shout to the Lord’ with Darlene Zschech , as well as many instrumental and vocals albums for artists and recording companies. He and his family are based in Wesley Chapel, FL where he owns and operate a recording Studio. Nick also produces promotional videos for companies and Churches.

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Are You a “GODLY EXAMPLE in LEADERSHIP”?

 

A Godly example for others is NOT AN OPTION in ministry, however many times we show anything other than a Godly impact on lives that are watching our every move.

Sometimes it is so easy to laugh at another’s sick joke, or criticize a man or woman of God because they do things differently than we do or we might complain often of our ailments or problems with our children and family. Are we the example that will enhance their lives or are we like the blind leading the blind?

What we may be showing others is “Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.”

What about ego? Are we always bragging, building ourselves up as we crave for attention?

Serve from Godly motives, not to feel good about yourself….or to be praised, accepted, or in control.

May each of us look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Philippians 2:4 ESV

Are we always considerate of others?

Do we strive to be on time….?

Do we answer phone calls and text promptly?

Do we answer messages with a pleasant message other than a yes or no?

The power of our example of the way we live either has a negative or positive influence on others.

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”

Romans 12:10 ESV

What about sharing our interest in movies, TV or other media outlets? Do we show interest in TV shows that are knowingly secular, violent, witchcraft, promoting sexual perversion and other worldly interests or is it our ultimate goal to help others become imitators of Christ so not to open our eyes, mind and spirit to these evil pursuit’s ?

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

Galatians 6:9 ESV

Do we show and live by example, that our spouse is our best friend (after Jesus Christ) .and that he or she comes before anyone in our congregation or otherwise?

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”

Colossians 3:23-24 ESV

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Linda Pickern Founded “Women R Champions” after several years working with husband Paul with All Pro Pastors. The need that Pastor Wives and women who serve in ministry shared was for a safe place to come and unload. Woman R Champions is a closed community group within Facebook that is open by invitation. This helps to keep it private.
Linda has worked in business and been a part of several denominations for over 50 years.
Originally from West Virginia, she still has lots of family there. As a mother and grandmother as well as married to a pastor she has many life experiences to draw upon!
Linda is a faithful prayer warrior for the women and their husbands she serves.

Conflict Resolution in Relationships

Improper communication could lead to conflict, however, you cannot
resolve conflict without proper communication (Eph. 4:29) Let no corrupt
communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the
use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

What is Conflict: A state of opposition between ideas or interests;
a clash or disagreement; a quarrel or a difference of opinion.

Three things that displeases a woman/wife that could
lead to conflict
* Constantly operating in “fix-it mode”
* Not balancing your hobbies and personal life well
* Please don’t compare her with other women

Three things that displeases a man/husband that could
lead to conflict
* Constantly criticizing or correcting him in public, and
especially in front of the children
* When you expect him to read your mind
* Please don’t compare him with other men

 Relationship resolution: Operating with contrition
* P.S. – Personal Surrender
P.E. – Personal Expression
* Confess your faults (James 5:16)
* Pray – “Father, thank you for showing us …….”
* Make praying together a lifestyle
(ASAP-Always Stop And Pray)
* Make Eph. 5:33 and 1Cor. 7:33-35a a life application

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Pastors Jesse and Brenda McNeil are Assistant Pastors at Word Alive Ministries, Inc. in Lakeland, Florida. They are committed marriage and family pastors, advisors, and teachers, offering premarital preparation, personal advisory, post marital advisory, and wedding services to any-one who desires. Pastor Jesse is also the author of the very influential book, “Powerful Principles for Choosing a Marriage Partner.” The McNeils have been married for more than 42 years and have worked together as a dynamic, unified ministry team for over 36 years. You are sure to be blessed and in-spired by their awesome ministry.

Family Focus Ministry
Pastors Jesse & Brenda McNeil
Every person is worth understanding!
Services Offered:
Premarital Preparation, Post Marital Advisory,
Marriage Ceremonies, Seminars & Speaking Engagements
For comments or questions email us at: ffm@tampabay.rr.com
or call 863-944-2283 or 863-944-0762

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EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION for GREAT RELATIONSHIPS

(Developing Message Discipline)
1. What is effective communication? It is sending and receiving information with
understanding. It involves talking and listening with one purpose and one
pleasure. It is the gift of yourself. A great marriage results from great
communication.
2. Three forms of communication:
A. Verbal – Spoken words/language
B. Non-verbal – Posture, body language, eye contact, etc.
C. Para-verbal – Tone and pitch of words; the attitude of words
3. Family Circle Survey of 100 Women: What makes marriage relationships last?
59% …………………………….. Good communication
36% …………………………….. Good times
5% ………………………………..Good sex.
Barriers of Effective Communication
1. Failure to listen – Ready to fix the problem. Effective communication is a
heart thing, not a head thing.
2. Making assumptions – Making a judgement without the facts
3. Lack of sensitivity to emotions
4. Distractions/Interruptions
5. Time pressure
6. Jumping from topic to topic
7. Not acknowledging a person’s feelings, emotions, and desires
Strategies of Effective Communication
1. Make eye contact
2. Stay on the topic
3. Focus on understanding the other person and not on winning the
conversation
4. Smile or nod
5. Don’t monopolize the conversation
6. Arrange for privacy
7. Show interest

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Pastors Jesse and Brenda McNeil are Assistant Pastors at Word Alive Ministries, Inc. in Lakeland, Florida. They are committed marriage and family pastors, advisors, and teachers, offering premarital preparation, personal advisory, post marital advisory, and wedding services to any-one who desires. Pastor Jesse is also the author of the very influential book, “Powerful Principles for Choosing a Marriage Partner.” The McNeils have been married for more than 42 years and have worked together as a dynamic, unified ministry team for over 36 years. You are sure to be blessed and in-spired by their awesome ministry.

Family Focus Ministry
Pastors Jesse & Brenda McNeil
Every person is worth understanding!
Services Offered:
Premarital Preparation, Post Marital Advisory,
Marriage Ceremonies, Seminars & Speaking Engagements
For comments or questions email us at: ffm@tampabay.rr.com
or call 863-944-2283 or 863-944-0762

Married Couples Confession

The Word of God says in 2 Thes. 5:18, In everything give thanks, for this is the
will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Rom. 4:17 says even God calls those
things that be not as though they were. You may not be there yet; however,
you must be determined to grow. In Job 22:28 it says, whatsoever you decree
and declare, it shall be established unto you.
Confession
Father, we extend most holy faith as we invite you to work in our marriage.
We thank you for improving our communication; we communicate well, we
listen well, and we are growing in empathy. Father, we thank you for
showing us how to handle conflict biblically and scripturally. When there is
conflict, we refuse to act immaturely. We refuse to sleep on the couch, we
refuse to sleep in the other room, and we refuse to leave the house, because
we are mature. We refuse to say hurtful words, we refuse to go out and
spend money unnecessarily, because we are mature and we talk things out.
Father, thank you for improving our money-managing skills. We are
cautious spenders, we are prudent, we are wise, we are savers, we are
investors, and we are givers, for when we give bountifully, we receive
bountifully. Thank you for developing discipline in our lives.
Father, thank you for showing us how to be intimate with one another, how
to please one another, and how to be sensitive to the needs of one another.
Father, thank you for delivering us from selfishness (which is the opposite
of love), for we know that selfishness takes, but love gives and never, never
fails.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Family Focus Ministry
Pastors Jesse & Brenda McNeil
Every person is worth understanding!

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Pastors Jesse and Brenda McNeil are Assistant Pastors at Word Alive Ministries, Inc. in Lakeland, Florida. They are committed marriage and family pastors, advisors, and teachers, offering premarital preparation, personal advisory, post marital advisory, and wedding services to any-one who desires. Pastor Jesse is also the author of the very influential book, “Powerful Principles for Choosing a Marriage Partner.” The McNeils have been married for more than 42 years and have worked together as a dynamic, unified ministry team for over 36 years. You are sure to be blessed and in-spired by their awesome ministry.

Family Focus Ministry
Pastors Jesse & Brenda McNeil
Every person is worth understanding!
Services Offered:
Premarital Preparation, Post Marital Advisory,
Marriage Ceremonies, Seminars & Speaking Engagements
For comments or questions email us at: ffm@tampabay.rr.com
or call 863-944-2283 or 863-944-0762

A Spirit-filled Spouse or A Carnal Spouse

The Difference Between!
(As It Relates to Love and Respect-Ephesians 5:33)
Love and Respect are two of the greatest needs for the husband and wife. The husband is
energized by respect, coupled with love, and the wife is energized by love, coupled with
respect. Marriage is a wonderful plan from God, and it should never be taken lightly, but of
course, it is also challenging. Nevertheless, our God has given us everything we need for
success. It is important that we live our lives with an attitude of seeking spiritual growth so
that Christ, the one who died for us, may be glorified and honored. My friend, this special
information is not for condemnation, but observation for transformation, coupled with
prayer, patience, and walking in love.
LOVE
 A spirit-filled husband will love and lead his wife (Ephesians 5:25); a carnal husband
will rule or dominate his wife.
 A spirit-filled husband will compliment (praise/flatter) and encourage his wife; a
carnal husband will tear down or depreciate his wife (Ephesians 4:32).
 A spirit-filled husband will complement (fulfill/please) his wife; a carnal husband will
compete with his wife (1 Corinthians 7:33).
RESPECT
 A spirit-filled wife will esteem and empower her husband; a carnal wife will
devour/belittle her husband (Galatians 5:15).
 A spirit-filled wife will submit or come under her husband’s leadership; a carnal wife
will dominate her husband (Ephesians 5:24).
 A spirit-filled wife will complement (fulfill/please) her husband; a carnal wife will
compete with her husband (1 Corinthians 7:34).

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Pastors Jesse and Brenda McNeil are Assistant Pastors at Word Alive Ministries, Inc. in Lakeland, Florida. They are committed marriage and family pastors, advisors, and teachers, offering premarital preparation, personal advisory, post marital advisory, and wedding services to any-one who desires. Pastor Jesse is also the author of the very influential book, “Powerful Principles for Choosing a Marriage Partner.” The McNeils have been married for more than 42 years and have worked together as a dynamic, unified ministry team for over 36 years. You are sure to be blessed and in-spired by their awesome ministry.

Family Focus Ministry
Pastors Jesse & Brenda McNeil
Every person is worth understanding!
Services Offered:
Premarital Preparation, Post Marital Advisory,
Marriage Ceremonies, Seminars & Speaking Engagements
For comments or questions email us at: ffm@tampabay.rr.com
or call 863-944-2283 or 863-944-0762

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Could this be your Wife’s View?

Pastor-Husband vs Secular men
Does he STRIVE FOR EXCELLENCE AS A MAN OF GOD to be like JESUS IN EVERY FACET OF HIS PERSONAL
LIFE WITH HIS SPOUSE?
James 3:1-3 NKJV: My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing
that we shall receive a stricter judgment. For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body.
No one knows better than the wife of a Pastor, behind closed doors and knowing his restraining actions.
What about his PRIDE and EGO?
Is he MATERIALISTIC to a fault?
Does he share THOUGHTS with his wife?
When his wife make suggestions, does he SHUT HER OFF?
Sometime does her WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT offend him or maybe he takes them the wrong way?
Does he jump to his OWN CONCLUSIONS at his wife’s comments, suggestions?
What about LISTENING TO HER HEART?
Does he put his wife’s INTIMATE NEEDS before his own or does he TAKE FOR GRANTED that she has
been as satisfied as him?
When SHE CLAMS UP, does he try to understand why or EVEN CARE WHY?
Does he ASSUME she is criticizing or complaining OR does he TRY to see and hear her point in a truly
caring way?
Does he put her FIRST, after GOD, (at home, on the pulpit, out in public)?
Do the MEN in the congregation want to be just like him?
Does the congregation see his efforts of striving for EXCELLENCE as a husband?
Do his son’s WANT to be the kind of husband he is to their mother?
There are many wonderful men in the world (JUST LIKE MANY PASTOR’S) who make super mates for
their wives, the only difference is that he IS A PASTOR!
As a leader in the KINGDOM OF GOD, are you, THE PASTOR satisfied to be just like those other men, OR
are you STRIVING FOR EXCELLENCE as a MAN OF GOD and making a DIFFERENCE TO BE LIKE JESUS!
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Linda Pickern Founded “Women R Champions” after several years working with husband Paul with All Pro Pastors. The need that Pastor Wives and women who serve in ministry shared was for a safe place to come and unload. Woman R Champions is a closed community group within Facebook that is open by invitation. This helps to keep it private.
Linda has worked in business and been a part of several denominations for over 50 years.
Originally from West Virginia, she still has lots of family there. As a mother and grandmother as well as married to a pastor she has many life experiences to draw upon!
Linda is a faithful prayer warrior for the women and their husbands she serves.

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Rejection the Supreme Test

The recovery process takes a minimum stay of 100 days. In February of 2016 I had the honor to be a friend’s companion during her recovery after a bone marrow transplant.  She had to follow the strictest of regimens and doctors instructions.  Selecting the proper donor was a tough process because her son ultimately was the donor.  

Definition of rejection

  1. 1a :  the action of rejecting :  the state of being rejected b :  an immune response in which foreign tissue (as of a skin graft or transplanted organ) is attacked by immune system components of the recipient organism

The purpose of the 100 days is to make sure her body doesn’t reject the tissue.  The numerous doctor’s appointments and labs were exhausting.  Every function of her body was monitored and constantly examined.  To date she is cancer free and getting stronger and stronger.  PTL

As pastors and pastor’s wives we see people rejected and beat up all the time.  Our quick responses of prayer and encouragement to them are part of the things we do to serve the local body.  It is Out of obedience to the Lord in our calling.  

What happens when we experience rejection?  I have been in ministry now for almost 25 years and I have had a lot of rejection.  In the definition of rejection; the second definition made me think of the local church.  The local church is where I see the body of Christ in action.  Sometimes my local body is not very kind or loving.  I feel rejection.

As pastors we try not to take things personal, but everything we do is personal.  As a servant to the ministry I have to invest and love and care!  When people leave the church it hurts.  When you pour into people’s lives and they don’t want any more to do with you, it hurts.  My prayer almost daily is, “Lord keep my heart soft and my skin thick.”  

Who was the most rejected person, Jesus?  He was perfect and yet rejected.  When I received my salvation I took on the very being of Christ.  This very thing I must remember.  Jesus kept His eyes on the Father.  His identity was in God.  I find in some of my biggest disappointments in people that have rejected me, I was looking to them for approval.  It is very easy to try and people please.  Looking to the Father and asking what He thinks of me changes my perspective on rejection.  My approval must come from Him and not man.

In ministry I’ve had to learn to get over things quickly.  This comes in the form of forgiveness.  Early on in my ministry a very precious women mentored me in the area of forgiveness.  She told me I had to learn to forgive and forgive quickly.  This is not always so easy, is it?  I found hanging on to unforgiveness made be bitter towards the people who had rejected me.  That was only hurting me.  I knew I had to lay that down.  It has changed my ministry.  I have a greater dependence on the Father.

I heard a pastor recently say, “I am going to let man’s rejection be God’s redirection in my life so I can move forward to something better!”

When I was saved, I received the bone marrow of Christ.  I want to live out my days following His orders and direction for my life.  I don’t want to go into rejection of who he made me to be.  Today I will stand in the fullness of His approval and operate out of love.

 

mm

Pastor’s Wife, Mother, Worship Pastor, Teacher, Soloist